Our Family Support worker, Leah, shares her tips to help you support your child through this difficult time.
Having a child or young person going through or being threatened with exclusion or suspension can be an incredibly difficult time for all involved. While it is important to make sure your child/young person is safe and understands what’s going on, it is also important for you as the parent to look after yourself as well. Whether the exclusion/suspension is short or long term, there are healthy habits and actionable things you can do to help yourself through this difficult period.
Here are some important things to remember:
Take time for yourself.
This period will disrupt both your and your child’s usual routines. Having your child at home all day is a new experience for you both and it is important that you remember to schedule time for yourself every day. Even taking little moments can help to give you the breathing space you need to refocus and reset. Little things like taking 5 minutes to make a cup of tea (that you can drink whilst it’s still warm), take an evening walk alone if there is someone else to look after the child, do a 10 minute breathing exercise or even just 10 minutes to call a friend, offload and focus on something other than your child for a moment.
Talk to people.
Being at home all day with your child and dealing with the shame and stigma that often comes with a child going through exclusion/suspension can be a lonely and isolating feeling. Make sure you’re offloading to your support system and lean on them during this hard time. Don’t be afraid to ask people for support and let them know the best ways they can show up for you. If you have professionals working with you during this time, make sure you lean on them, they are there to support you through this process also.
Make space for feelings.
It’s really important during this time to make space to listen to your child how they want to communicate to you, it is likely that this is a confusing and lonely time for them while they can’t be with their friends and in school. Take time to hear their questions and if you can’t answer, that’s okay! Make sure to affirm them and where appropriate share how you are feeling too. It’s okay to have questions, hear their side of the story and share the space during this tricky time.
Be Kind to Yourself.
When your child is going through suspension/exclusion, we know that unfortunately that can often come with feeling a lot of shame, feeling isolated, and feeling like your parenting is being blamed by others. Make sure you take time to process everything and remind yourself that the exclusion/suspension system is very broken, and many other children are also struggling with it. The UK school system often takes a very ‘one size fits all’ approach, and of course, we know that all children and theirs needs are extremely unique. Be kind to yourself and your young person and remember that there is always support out there for both parents/carers and children.
