Elijah* was incredibly disengaged from school, he never wanted to go in and every single morning there was a battle to get him through the school gates. It was during year 2 that we realised Elijah could not read and began a long journey of getting him diagnosed with Dyslexia.
We knew Elijah needed additional support because of his suspected ADHD, Autism and Dyslexia, but we didn’t know where to start. We attempted to apply for an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) but were told that compared to other children, Elijah’s needs were not as severe and because of the lack of resources, he would not be a priority.
Elijah’s suspension followed an unfortunate incident between him and two other children which occurred because of improper playground supervision. At the end of the day, I received a call to say that the school had made the decision to suspend Elijah for 2 days. I was completely devastated and felt let down by the school. Being a parent of a child with additional needs is impossible to explain to someone who has never been in this situation. Now we were facing the added stigma of our child being excluded – it was completely shame inducing.
It didn’t make sense to me to exclude a child who was already struggling because of a lack of support. I was gob-smacked that they were choosing to then further isolate him and ostracize him with the shame that comes with exclusion. We truly felt like we had no options left. I was at a complete crisis point; my child was crying about going to school every day, we were being refused support and now he had just been excluded.
Upon his return to school, Elijah was extremely anxious and concerned about people talking about him. He doesn’t cope well with disruption to routine and struggled to re-integrate back into school. He was isolated and extremely disengaged from school, and I knew that he was just falling further and further behind.
Over the years, we exhausted all avenues of support, all over the country. We looked at different schools in different counties, we looked at hiring a private Teaching Assistant, we even considered private school. But ultimately, all schools were oversubscribed and under-resourced. We were worried that Elijah would be trapped in a cycle of repeatedly facing exclusion in schools that don’t know how to support him.
We decided to move abroad just to get the support and education my son deserves, and my only regret is that we didn’t do it sooner. After just one month in his new school, with the support and resources that he needed, Elijah can now read.
All along, all he needed was for a school to listen and support him, rather than treating him as a problem.
*Names have been changed
